As you scroll through your social media feeds, you see nothing but snapshots of success. From cinching their dream jobs to celebrating their engagements, it seems like everyone around you has gotten their life sorted out. Compared to them, you can’t help but second-guess yourself – is the life you’re living now the one you envisioned for yourself?

If you’ve felt this way before, you aren’t alone. You might be aware of the concept of a mid-life crisis, but in truth, a lot of youths experience something similar to this as they take their first steps into adulthood. And although the term may not be very familiar to some, the concept is far from new.

Dissecting the Quarter-life Crisis

In terms of their underlying emotions, a mid-life crisis and a quarter-life crisis are quite similar. But although a mid-life crisis is more recognised by society, it doesn’t mean that it’s any more common than a quarter-life crisis. In fact, four in five young adults (aged between 25 to 33), in Singapore fall victim to one, according to a survey by LinkedIn (though it can happen at ages younger than that).

However, those going through a quarter-life crisis may find their struggles being brushed off, especially by those older than them. After all, this is the time where you’re supposed to be at your peak – with good health, minimal responsibility and able to seek the opportunities you desire. As a result, although some do try to come forward, their struggles are often dismissed or overlooked.

Common Stressors

Even without the additional issues brought on by the pandemic, the rapid transition from a student to a working adult as you enter your twenties isn’t always a smooth path. Yet it’s also the period where you’re often expected to make the best of your youth and achieve all you can while you can. As you step into this period full of expectations for yourself, it can be difficult to handle the stress of it all – from the struggles of your early career, learning to "adult" and finding (and maintaining) a committed relationship.

And with the prevalence of social media, you’re able to see how everyone else is faring, which can trigger a deep sense of competitiveness and envy as you compare yourself to their seemingly perfect lives.

Dealing with a Quarter-life Crisis

Although it sounds pretty bad, a quarter-life crisis isn’t necessarily all bad – in fact, most people who go through it tend to come out stronger and more sure of themselves. Still, even when you accept that you’re going through one, the process itself can still feel unpleasant if you don’t know how to tackle the symptoms, so here are some steps you can take:

Tackle the root cause

When dealing with a problem, figuring out the source is generally the best way to start. In this case, ask yourself why you’re feeling this way, or if there was anything that happened recently that triggered it. Although it varies from person to person, common stressors can include stress over job-hunting, having to live alone for the first time, dealing with serious relationships or making big decisions for yourself, whether personal or professional.

For example, you might realise that you’re pressuring yourself to remain at your current job, despite knowing that you often leave work late unhappy and unfulfilled. Or that partway through an internship, you realise that the degree you’re working towards may not be the one for you, despite putting in so much effort to get into it before.

Accept that change is happening

This can be especially difficult if you’re on the cusp of making a huge decision, such as choosing to switch careers when you’ve intended to follow one certain path so far – especially if you’ve gone through life preparing for it with the impression that it would be the best job for you.

But the truth is that life can be fickle and for many, the road to success has never been one straight path. If you’re hesitant about embarking on an entirely new path, don’t let your current circumstances define who you are. Don’t be afraid to take the plunge, even if they don’t seem conventional at the time. For example, you can still consider branching out to entirely different industries outside of your degree, if you so desire. Consider talking to your boss about switching to a department you’re more interested in, or taking internships and traineeships to test the waters before going all in!

Find a source of comfort and assurance

Going through a quarter-life crisis can feel like an emotional rollercoaster you can’t get off. But you don’t have to cope with it alone. And with how common it actually is among young people, there’s also a high chance that your friends might be going through the same emotional rollercoaster you’re on.

Whether it’s joining a new hobby group, or reaching out to trusted friends and family, it can really make a lot of difference and help you stave off the feelings of frustration and anxiety that can threaten to overwhelm you. And if you find that isn’t enough, don’t be afraid to reach out to professional help should you require it.

Ultimately, as scary as it might be, going through a quarter-life crisis is often a normal part of growing up as you transition into adulthood. In fact, it’s entirely possible to go through several of these throughout your lifetime. But all you need to do is understand this rocky stage of life and accept its ebbs and flows. As long as you listen to yourself, you’ll be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel soon enough, and come out with a life that better reflects what you want.